Difficult Conversations Group and Team Coaches Need to Have

Coaching is not always a positive, cheerful conversation. Many times there are difficult issues we

need to pose in a group or team, and sometimes we are the ones who surface the elephant in the room. Today's post focuses on five difficult conversations we may find we need to have as group or team coaches:

1. With the group or team member who consistently does not take action they have committed to. It's easy for coaches to fall into the habit of overlooking a group member who isn't following through on their commitments. Consider how it might be more in-service to have a coaching conversation with the group or team member who is constantly letting things slide. You might consider asking them:
What took precedence this week for you in respect to the commitments you had made?
What was important about doing that versus what you had committed to?
How is this change or pushing aside your own commitments showing up in other areas?
What value did the actions you ultimately took have on....
What would you do in the future if you faced this choice?
In our context what changes do you want to make around the commitments you make?
Do I/do we have the opportunity to check in on how committed you really are on your commitments each week, in service to what you've said you want to get out of the work we're doing (note this is a little long question - not the short snappy 5-7 words we often aim for in coaching questions!)

2. Another difficult conversation is surfacing the taboo issues teams have. Maybe there are things that are not talked about in the team. This might be an unspoken truth, the issue that is being swept under the carpet or something else. What's taboo for the team or group you are working with? What would be the value of asking that question to them?

3. Supporting a team through conflict, when the team is conflict avoidant, is not only a difficult conversation, but also a tricky one. It's important that we provide teams and other clients we work with tools, skills and approaches to navigate conflict. This may involve some "teaching" or the introduction of a model they can all have a conversation from.
What do you notice about conflict and the way the group and/or team members you are supporting approaches conflict?

4. The group member who constantly hogs or dominates the conversation. For some coaches supporting the dominant group member who may "hog" the space or bulldoze others may be a challenging type of person to support. Each one of us will probably find different types of group members more challenging to work with. In the many years I've supported coaches - it's often the challenger, or dominant group member who coaches note would be the challenging one for them to support.

5. The group member who is not engaged. In coaching, coachability always should always be at the forefront. Is this person ready and interested in being coached. Keep in mind, coaching is not training. As a coachee, they need to be setting their goals, and taking action. It's about the coachee driving the bus. Having discussions with clients who are not engaged around their coachability can also be a key issue.

What do you see as the most Difficult Conversations for yourself? I'd welcome your input and comments. Please do so below!

Best
Jennifer

Jennifer Britton, MES, CPT, PCC
Group Coaching Essentials | Potentials Realized  
Author of Effective Group Coaching (Wiley, 2010) and From One to Many: Best Practices for Team and Group Coaching (Jossey-Bass, 2013)

About Us: Jennifer Britton is author of Effective Group Coaching (Wiley, 2010) andFrom One to Many: Best Practices for Team and Group Coaching (Jossey-Bass, 2013) . Since 2004 she and her company, Potentials Realized, have supported thousands of coaches, trainers, and leaders, design and create more impactful team and group programs (in-person and virtual). Jennifer offers customized programs for organizations, as well as virtual public training programs. Our areas of specialty are team development, leadership and coaching. Our 2017 programming starts during the week of January  9th and will include: The Group Coaching Essentials teleseminar (8.75 CCEs), The Advanced Group and Team Coaching Practicum (10 CCEs), and the Mentor Coaching Group for ACC/PCC portfolio routes. Our 2017 Learning Lab and Design Studio Group for Coaches who want to build their business and expand their group and team programs starts January as well (2 group calls on Fridays throughout 2017)